Analysing self while analysing you

I found this from some time ago, it still holds, so I want to share it. But, I couldn’t help think of friends who have been down the same path. We are unique in our reactions, but to the same experiences. So yes, yours is different than mine, and yet, you wandered into my thoughts, dear ladies.

It’s an “arrrrrrgh!” moment; the most frustrating to deal with, when you like someone and they show interest, tease you, but don’t really like you back.

I went all out, being the greatest version of my best self, and “arrrrgh” nothing came of it. Wtf? Behind, the, ”I’m like this” fabric, did this “love interest” forget common decency? Even if not interested, he forgot how to be cordial even?

It made me wonder, if you are a nice person to all, and a substandard version of yourself with me cause of a smug, “where will she go?!”

How small your reactions to my efforts made me feel. How hideously unwanted I felt at the moment.

You gave a little, and then left me hanging. A tease. A game player. So I would find myself in the center for a bit, and soon after, poof! It wasn’t my place to want your time? To meet? To be?

Why is it that when you build the courage to show affection, it is slammed door shut reaction? This was the last of it for me.

I’m done with this nonchalance. It is not alluring. It is nonsense. You know people make time for you when they want to, and you know this for a fact because you do it yourself. I’m sick of being nice and letting these ones count as “potential.” I don’t like being treated as someone whose existence doesn’t matter. So you know what? SCREW YOU.

So next time, I feel the need to reach out to someone and my instinct tells me not to, I will just read this post, and let it straighten me out. 

1 thought on “Analysing self while analysing you”

  1. Sometimes it is not intentional, and can be as well. Over time, we will all become hardened balls, yes, even the sensitive ones!

    PS: Super initiative, love it. Keep rocking!!

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