Calm down, I want to start by stating that my gay friends are more “mannerly” towards me than many straight men I’ve met.
When I was younger, I used to roll my eyes and joke, ‘chivalry is dead.’ It was normally a response to a boy being mannerless or lacking quality. Chivalry seems to have waved, ‘adios!’ in the scenario of women breaking through the glass ceilings. But here’s my thought…
Chivalry is defined as the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, namely courage, honour, courtesy, justice, and a readiness to help the weak.
Now, I’m a strong individual. I’ve been told many times that my independence is intimidating. It’s true, I don’t need a man to earn a living for me or open my bottle of wine. (Though, the right one can buy me a drink any day! Haha) Being non-conventional and challenging traditions comes naturally to me.
(Did you sense the ‘but’?)
BUT…here’s the deal. While I am all for equality, I am also for manners—on all sides of humanity. As a woman, I like to be a woman, not a diva, but feminine. If a man holds the door open and lets me pass before him, it doesn’t make me any less independent, but he sure as hell gets points for being…considerate. Most men currently in their 60s carry these in-built elements on auto. But it is completely lost on the next of kin.
So, if he’s got the, “courage, honour, courtesy, justice” thing down, he’s a keeper. It’s quite charming, actually.
Let’s not mix attitudes with physical attributes. I have sparred over many a Muay Thai sessions with men, I appreciate that they are built stronger. Physical strength is not an equality measure.
To have manners, whatever your gender, is a BONUS in today’s times. We are equals as humans, doesn’t take away the ability, nay, necessity to be polite. We need to bring in an overall softness to our world. EVERYTHING is not a rebellion.
Until next time, breathe, heal, be kind, smile, and let the sun shine.